Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
