you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
