If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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