just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
