I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
