I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
A+ Viking dick
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
