When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
