only if we run a train.
done.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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