we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
