Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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