I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
