on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
