i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
