There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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