he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize