I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize