if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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