HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
True college students do jello shots in the library
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize