hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
