Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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