He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've blown a few things in my day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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