I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
