They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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