And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
