I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
