She is in my trunk
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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