I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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