so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
