We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
