She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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