5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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