Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i came on her dog
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
