Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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