ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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