i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I met the friendliest cop last night
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
