Duck Duck Cougar?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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