I'm laying in your front yard are you home
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
