god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The ass gains better be worth it
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