You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize