Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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