do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
