I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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