The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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