Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
