Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
