she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
