I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
