you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
