I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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