Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
