that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
