drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
