Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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