so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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