you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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