Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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