Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
