My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
