Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
