moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
