just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The Olympian is in my bed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
