and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
