You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
