So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Randomize
